Tuesday, January 8, 2013

THIS IS WHY WE DO IT

I have had 4 since I turned 40...The first time I was notified that there was something not quit right they needed a second look. It was on my left side. I assured them it was nothing I knew what would cause it to look like something was wrong I was sure it was from me having Cerebral Palsy all the muscles are affected on the left side. I amused them and went back for another look and I was right it was nothing. Then the next year all was normal. However the following year I didn't go in.  There was a big campaign going on that you didn't need to go in every year that every two to three years was sufficient. The following year all was well.  This last year as in November.......Well......was a different story......

I am talking about mammograms. I am one that does not do self exams. But I have yet to notice anything out of the ordinary.

I decided that since I am in my mid 40's that I wasn't going to wait 2-3 years that I should go in every year. My mom's sister was diagnosed with breast cancer in her mid to late 40's.  so I made my appointment and I had my mammogram on 11/15. It was just like any other and I was having no signs of anything. So I went did the usual thing and was on my way home within 20 minutes.  I thought no more about it at all until a few days later when I came home to a voice mail message from the hospital stating that I needed to call them, it was to late that day so I wrote the number down so I could call them the following day and of course I forgot so when I got home I hurried and called them fully planning on telling them the same thing I did the first time....That it was nothing.

My conversation did not go as planned. It went something like this:
Yes we need to see you again
OK, when
soon, we found a mass on your right side
oh really the right side, not the left?
that is correct...the right side
Oh.....
Yes we will need to schedule you for the "Breast Cancer Center" they have a special mammogram machine.
Oh OK.
I am not nervous and I don't know why. When friends of mine have gotten the same news I am horrified.

I go back in not sure why they have sent me to the "Breast Cancer Center" for just a second look. I didn't have to do this the first time I was told something didn't "Look" right. Oh well I play along. First I am taken back to change then I am escorted to the room that is holding the massive machine although it doesn't look so much different than a normal one.  While they get everything ready I can see on the TV monitor the image of my left breast with a blob that I am sure is the "mass" it looks to me like a bubble. This is when it hits me, there really is something there and my mind starts to race, I start thinking how will my family survive without me, who will do their laundry, who will find all their missing items. make them dinner, make sure they all know where they need to be and when.  I am brought back to reality when the nice lady tells me she is ready to start I slip the right side of the gown off and step forward so I can be placed in just the exact spot where they can get just the right picture to determine if this mass is something to worry about or not. This particular machine takes pictures in a slicing motion so it moves around the front of your body in a vertical way. after a few different angles she is satisfied that she has the best possible pictures.  I think that my stint there is done. not even close. Next I am then lead down the hall to the ultrasound room.  I am positioned on a gurney laying half on my side with a block holding me into place. Next I am told to move my arm above my head
and to stay still I lay like this for close to 20 mins. while the lady tries to find the "Mass" I am able to see the screen and see what she sees.  Like that matters all I can make out  is a bunch of black and white blobs which looks like nothing to me, until she hits a spot that is definitely "something"  she marks it on the screen then keeps looking. she finally tells me she is getting the doctor to come look at what she found.  He is in there quickly. He starts to look around and sees what she has found soon he is marking my chest with a marker then his places a sticker on the located mass.  I am then sent back for another mammogram.  They conclude that the mass they found in the ultrasound is a completely different mass from what the mammogram found so I have TWO. Now my mind has been set sailing back to the "how will my family go on without me" stint.  but is pulled back quickly as the nurse is leading me back to where the doctor is so he can show me the separate mass' and advises that he want to aspirate the one and biopsy the other.  He tells me that he is sure it is nothing to worry about but he doesn't want to play the chance game.  He then tells me that if it is cancer it will be 100% curable since it is so small. One mass was around 1 cm the other pushing 4cm.  He wants to know if I have any questions?  Ummmm....No I say...... my mind is empty.

I am taken back to the locker I change then go set my next appointment. 12-10.


The day finally arrives. I make it to my appointment, I am taken to the back where I am shown my locker and handed the lovely hospital gown where I am told to undress and put the gown on so it opens in the front. I had brought with me a pair of sweats and a warm fuzzy pair of slippers. I thought of comfort since I was told I would be there 2-3 hours.

I am taken to the ultra sound room where I am again positioned and prepped for the aspiration.  The doctor tells me that if fluid comes out it is a good thing. He has been talking to me as he has been prepping and soon he is ready to start. He tells me that is going to give me a shot to numb the area...it stings.and soon he is checking to see if I am numb. It has worked and now he is inserting the needle I can see on the screen what he is doing and I can feel the pressure he is pressing hard.  Finally he reaches the mass and inserts the needle. I do not see any changes on the screen but he says that it is draining which means there was fluid.  He explains that since there was fluid and it drained that it was a cyst and only a cyst nothing else needs to be done.  I am in the clear on that one.

I breath a silent sigh of relief

I am now being lead into a room that has a bed that I need a step ladder to climb upon to reach the bed. I am laid on my stomach where there is an opening for my chest.  the doctor will be performing this procedure from the underside of the bed.  I am numbed again then he makes an incision that is the size of my pinky nail then a device is inserted to take several pieces of the mass out.  This whole procedure takes about an hour. then I have to lay there for sometime while they take everything off me and to get taped up.  After all that is done I am taken back for another mammogram. They then asses that all looks good and I can now go.  I will have the results in three days....


The longest 3 days ever..........

Wednesday comes and goes no word.
so does Thursday what does this mean?
Friday I call and they state they have left a message on Monday, so apparently one of the boys seen our light blinking and listened and thought nothing of the long awaited message not knowing that it was like a LIFE AND DEATH call for me..

They tell me that the "Mass" was NOT cancer. That is was just a lymph noid that had grown into a fatty mass.

In the clear again.

With another sigh of relief!

My mind is reeling again......My family will be ok!  I am not going anywhere! I will be here to keep nagging them to pick up the dishes, clean their room and do their laundry!

Maybe they would not really miss me!

But in the end this is the end result that is wanted by so many and yet there are still to many that are now worrying about their family.  I am grateful it is not me! But they will  always be in my heart with the knowledge it could have been me.

So if you are having that thought should I get a mammogram....get off the couch and the computer and make that call....Do it today!






2 comments:

Polly B. said...

How stressful and scary for you! I am so glad that you are okay. Love and hugs to you!

Melissa and Jeff said...

Wow. So sorry you had to stress about that. Glad everything turned out ok. Lots of love!