Sunday, June 24, 2012


picture/poem posted on facebook by Misty Fielding

It all started about 9 years ago, I had a dream that one of my dear friends died and went to heaven and met my daughter Jailee, in my dream they became the best of friends, I was so happy that my Jailee had someone with her that new me. So on Monday  I went to work and told my friend about the dream I had,  she then ask how she had died? I was so nonchalant it hadn't even occurred to me that I didn't know I didn't think it was all that important I was just so into the idea that now she knew my Jailee! and besides the fact she was 26 years old she was not really going to die.......We laughed about it and it has been a "little" thing with us ever since! I went on my way with my life not giving that dream any other thought, but not really ever forgetting either untill.............

A few weeks later my "friend" Nicole told me that she had breast cancer, my heart sunk how could I have been so thoughtless, I was mortified about telling my dream. I apologized right then about how I had put her thoughts and feelings aside and was so into my selfish desires.  And as Nicole always was she just laughed about it consoling me. trying to make me feel ok!  Nicole told all of us that was close to her not to feel sorry for her, that everything was going to be ok!  for the first 6 years that she had cancer I never seen her cry, and she very rarely missed work! Sometimes I forgot completely that she had cancer.  She was the bubbliest, happiest person all the time. The first round of chemo seemed to do the trick, she was well for 1 year then the cancer came back in her bones and that is when they told her she would be in treatment for the remainder of her life, but you would still never know that she was sick and she still never missed much work. I didn't ask her about her cancer very often I didn't want to dwell on it, she didn't seem to.  Then about two years ago she was told she had brain tumors these last two years really took a toll on her for the first time I seen her cry, miss work and plain just not feel well. She got disoriented, forget silly things like her passwords to her computer, these things plain out just made her mad! It was so sad but no one dared to tell her that because she still insisted that no one feel sorry for her. In this last year she found love! What an amazing man she found, I only met him once but in that short time I seen him interact with her I knew that he truly LOVED her! he treated her like she deserved.... like a queen! He took her on romantic rides up in the mountains, had a picnic in the back of his truck while they looked at the lights in the valley and just looked at the stars, I had never seen her so in love. She deserved all of it! the fairy tale guy that rode in on a horse and carried her away and took care of her!

Last year Nicole came to me and told me about her weekend, she said wasn't feeling all that great and was alone, but she felt she was not alone, she said that she had the most calmest feeling come over her and that she believed that Jailee was with her, I was so touched!  of all the people that had passed that loved and knew Nicole here on earth, she felt like Jailee had come to comfort her... I told her that I thought it was possible that because I loved her ( Nicole) so much that Jailee had gone in my place.  ( I know this may sound odd, but I truly believe that our loved ones that have passed on can and do many great things from the other side). I have no idea why these two have a connection ( besides me)  but I really think they do! I am so glad she told me this experience it made me feel just that much closer to her.

There are so many words that described her, here are just a few:

Beautiful, caring, funny, contagious, inspiring, uplifting, amazing, selfless, calm, confident, joker, and HERO!

She had a way about her......She made all of her friends feel so special, like a best friend! She has inspired me to be a better person, those who knew her are blessed because she was a part of their life no matter the connection.

Today earth lost a great person........Today heaven will never be the same! I am sure there is much rejoicing and a great reunion with all that have gone before her.

My life improved the day I met you Nicole, I will love you forever!  Rest in Peace My friend, Rest in Peace!

This saying is so NICOLE!

Photo: Be a hero!