This month marks what would have been a milestone birthday for you! One that is hard to believe is here already. How has 21 years gone by? I can still hear your little giggle and wonder what it would sound like now, you had beautiful almond shaped eyes that were blue...would they still be the same? I wonder if I would still be the shortest one in the family? How tall would you be? I sure wish that you could have stayed so I could have seen what you would have liked to do, how you would have thrown a tantrum, would you have been shy or out going, funny or somber? Had many friends or just a few? I would have loved to see you interact with your friends been there to laugh with you and cry with you! To be your mom was the best thing I could dream of! I was so so excited to think I actually had a girl! I feel so honored that you chose me as your mom if it was only for a few months! There is not a day that goes by that my heart and mind drifts to visions of you, your smile, how you liked to cuddle and play for hours how you rolled to where ever it was you wanted to get to, how you were lightening fast, how your little head looked everywhere to take everything in. You had the tiniest hands. I really think that your brothers would have loved to have an older sister, they have asked me many times do you think Jailee would have liked to ski, bike, skateboard? Or do you think she would have just liked girlie stuff? I always tell them I am sure she would have liked to do all those things as long as she got to do them with her brothers. In my heart I hope deeply that we would have gotten along, that as you grew into a young women that you would have made good choices, been a girl that received and gave respect, a girl that stood up for the weak, made a difference in our world! I don't mean that you had to be on a pedestal all the time, Just that overall you would be good girl! This world we all come to is full of hard choices, it's a challenge for us all. You had such a sweet innocent short life that at times I envy you....You have made it to the best possible place, while the rest of us have to have struggles, fears, hardships. There are times I am so grateful you did not have to grow up in these hard times, as I have had to watch your brothers make choices that I wish they would not have, seen them hurt by words and actions of others. But always....my heart aches to hold you, to see you to laugh and cry with you! Just to have you in our home....but for now I will dream of what life would have been like with you in it and I will smile....just because you were here! I find comfort in knowing that Heaven holds my treasure! I will love you forever my baby girl! Happy 21st Birthday!
Love,
Mom
XOXO
Love,
Mom
XOXO
5 comments:
I always love to hear about your daughter. She looks so much like you in the face. Thanks for sharing her story! Happy 21st Birthday!!!
That was beautiful Linda. I have never seen a picture of her. She was a beautiful baby. And I think she looks like you too. And I am pretty sure you two would have gotten along.
Wow, 21. I can't believe it. I often think of what she would have grown up to be. I like to think her and I would have been great friends. I can't imagine losing one of my children, and you are amazing for being so strong! Plus, I really don' k w how yo wrote this post, I cried my eyes out just reading it! Love you tons.
Oh Linda...I can't even imagine what you have felt these past 21 years. You are amazing and I am bawling having read that!!! I am sure your little girl has watched her mom every single day...Love you!!! Can't see any more through the tears!!!
What beautiful sentiments about your daughter. You are an amazing woman and I'll bet your sweet girl is a guardian angel for her brothers.
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